It’s always amusing – and facepalmy – when a song with stupid lyrics makes it to the Top 40.
What’s worse is when the lyrics are in equal parts stupid and disrespectful. It’s as if the lyricists don’t have two braincells to rub together.
What if we swapped the genders – make the women the singers and the men featured in the lyrics – would we see them for what they really are? Here’s a sample of upended lyrics from some fine tunes that hit the top of the charts this year – that’s 2012, not 1962.
Whistle – by Flo Rida
I’m betting you love creep mode, and I’m betting you like boys that give love to boys, and stroke your little ego
The moral: Men like boys that give love to boys. It strokes their egos, hard.
Turn All The Lights On – by T Pain
This must be his song, dancing like ain’t nobody else in here, Sexy as he wanna be and he dancing so close to me. I said ‘please excuse you steppin’ on expensive shoes’. He is a perfect ten, this angelic body made you sin. I love the way you get it in, come over here and shake it for a lady – cause you want it
The moral: It turns out men actually really WANT to dance in front of leering women! And true ladies want men to “shake it”. Just mind my shoes, pet. They be pricey.
Sorry For Party Rocking – LMFAO
When I’m in the club, sippin bub, really drunk, and I see a guys ass, gotta have it. I’ma grab it.
The moral: If you’re drunk, just grab some random ass. No one minds.
International Love – Pitbull
I’ve been to countries and cities I can’t pronounce, and places on the globe I didn’t know existed. In Romania, he pulled me to the side and told me “Pit, you can have me, and my brother.”
The moral: Pitbull should have stayed in school, and these lyrics are actually fucking creepy… Even when the genders aren’t reversed.
The Motto – Drake
Some Spanish boys love me like I’m on Aventura… Clubbing hard, fucking men, ain’t much to do.
The moral: When bored, get busy. It makes you look cool.
Leave You Alone – Young Jeezy
[Dear boyfriend:] keep your stomach, inner thighs, and your legs right, while I’m out here focus getting this bread right.
The moral: Women won’t support a man with a beer gut. Get it sorted, guys.
I’m actually sick of this stuff. It’s awful. Why do we buy into it, and let it lace itself into our culture?!
To finish, I’ll paraphrase the worst of them all: Faded, by Tyga and Lil Wayne. These men are class and I hope their families are proud.
- Women are dogs, so sexual partners get the nickname “Lassie”.
- During sex, put your thumb in a woman’s anus, and then make her smell it, in the hopes that she vomits.
- “Pregnant bitch titties” are bad because you can milk them.
- Have sex with a woman while playing your own music, then break “a bitch heart” once you’re done.
Stay classy, gentlemen.